« Why did you never call me? » she asked. « When we lived in the city. We were in the same place for years. And yet… »
Ben’s expression changed, taking on a tone that was both tender and full of regret. « I’ve thought about it, » he admitted. « Countless times. »
« So why didn’t you do it? »
Ben put down the spoon. « Because I didn’t want to come into your life and find out you were happy without me. »
Olivia blinked. « Well… »
“I know it sounds selfish,” he quickly continued, his cheeks flushed. “But I kept picturing you with someone, a career, a life, and me calling you like some ghost from elementary school. I didn’t want to be… an interruption.”
Olivia felt her chest tighten. « You couldn’t have. »
Ben’s gaze fell. « I’m not as brave as people imagine, » he said softly. « I can go to a construction site and argue with a contractor twice my size, but I can’t… » He trailed off, swallowing. « I couldn’t bear to be rejected by someone I care about. »
Olivia stared at him, seeing the boy with his bookmarks and the man who still trembled when he was nervous.
« Well, » she said softly, « I’ve had enough rejection for both of us. »
He then looked up, and his eyes were red. « I know. »
The atmosphere between them was charged with a palpable tension, not of sparks, but of sincerity. Olivia gripped her cup more tightly in her hands.
« I’m scared, » she admitted.
Ben’s expression softened. « What? »
« To desire something again, » she said. « To allow myself to believe that I can possess a beautiful thing and not lose it. »
Ben nodded slowly, as if he understood intimately. « Me too. »
They remained seated there, silent, allowing fear to exist without letting it win.
As autumn settled in, Olivia’s mother began to visit Ben’s house more often. At first, Olivia thought it was simply a matter of politeness: her mother was checking on her, hovering around her with concern disguised as criticism.
But one evening, while Ben was upstairs helping Eleanor get ready for bed, Olivia found her mother in the kitchen, examining the door of the annex.
« You really live here, » said his mother.
Olivia got ready. « Yes. »
Her mother sighed. « People talk. »
Olivia clenched her jaw. « I know. »
Her mother looked at her then, her eyes tired. « I’m not saying this to shame you, » she said softly. « I’m saying it because I remember what it’s like to live in a city that thinks it owns your story. »
Olivia blinked in surprise.
Her mother placed her hands on the counter. « Your father and I… we haven’t always been stable, » she admitted. « We hid a lot. We thought that if we hid it well enough, it wouldn’t be true. »
Olivia’s throat tightened. She had never heard her mother speak like that.
« You have the right to do it again, » said his mother in a hoarse voice. « Even if it makes people uncomfortable. »
Olivia swallowed hard. « Thank you. »
His mother’s gaze fell upon the staircase from which Ben’s footsteps were coming. « Benjamin is a good man, » she added.
Olivia’s cheeks flushed. « It’s him. »
Her mother hesitated, then said, « But above all, don’t disappear to someone else’s house. Make that your own choice. »
Olivia nodded. « That’s right. »
Her mother left shortly after, and Olivia, who had stayed in the kitchen, felt strangely lighter. It was the closest thing to approval she had received in years.
In early November, Eleanor had a good day. She woke up feeling great and asked Ben if they could go for a walk in town. Denise was out and Ben looked exhausted, but he didn’t hesitate.
Olivia offered to come. Ben gratefully agreed.
They walked slowly, Eleanor holding Ben’s arm, Olivia on the other side. Eleanor wore a coat with a scarf tied inside, and she gazed at the shop fronts as if she were seeing them for the first time.
They passed by the bookstore, and Eleanor stopped, squinting at the window.
« Oh, » she said softly. « Books. »
Ben smiled. « Do you want to come in? »
Eleanor nodded enthusiastically.
Inside, the bell jingled and the smell of old paper enveloped them like a familiar blanket. Eleanor ran her fingers over the shelves, murmuring to herself.
Olivia watched, her heart heavy. Eleanor’s joy was so genuine, so simple, that it made the loss all the more painful.
In the children’s classics section, Eleanor stopped and picked up a worn book with a blue cover.
Olivia gasped.
Ben was watching too, his eyes wide.
Eleanor took the book out and smiled as if she had found a treasure. « This one, » she said.
Ben’s voice fell silent. « That’s… that’s the one Dad used to read to me. »
Eleanor looked at him, a hint of confusion in her eyes. « Really? » she asked, then smiled again. « Well, then he’s yours. »
Ben took the book carefully, as if it might crumble. His eyes shone.
Olivia felt tears welling up in her eyes, and this time, she didn’t hold them back.
As she left, Eleanor stopped at the counter and looked at the cashier, a young woman with sparkling earrings.
« Do you have any bookmarks? » asked Eleanor.
The cashier smiled. « Yes. »
Eleanor chose a pack of simple paper bookmarks decorated with small stars. She handed them to Ben.
« For your books, » she said.
Ben’s voice broke. « Thank you, Mom. »
Eleanor patted him on the cheek. « You’re welcome, darling. »
They returned home in silence, in a silence heavy with meaning.
That evening, after Eleanor had fallen asleep, Ben stayed in the kitchen, bookmarks in hand, staring at them as if they were sacred.
Olivia approached. « It was a good day. »
Ben nodded, swallowing. « They’re rare now. »
Olivia hesitated, then reached out and touched his arm. « I’m glad you let me be here for this. »
Ben looked at her, his eyes filled with emotion. « Me too. »
He did not shy away from her touch. On the contrary, he surrendered to it lightly, as if he had an overwhelming need for contact without wanting to admit it.
Olivia’s heart was pounding.
Ben’s voice was hoarse. « Liv… I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to… »
« You’re not forcing it, » Olivia murmured.
Ben stared at her, a question in his eyes.
Olivia felt fear rising within her: what if she misinterpreted his words, what if he slipped away from her, what if she even lost this strong friendship?
She thought back to Ethan arriving, as if the past could be rewritten. She thought back to Eleanor’s hands resting on the books. She thought back to how Ben had stayed.
Olivia raised her chin. « I don’t want to pretend anymore that it’s just friendship, » she said in a trembling but sincere voice.
Ben felt his breath catch.
« I’m terrified, » Olivia quickly added. « But I’m even more afraid of waking up one day and realizing I’ve missed out on something good because I was too busy nursing an injury. »
Ben’s gaze softened and the tension in his shoulders released like a knot coming undone.
He approached slowly, giving her every chance to withdraw.
Olivia, no.
Ben’s hand rose, hovering near his face. « Can I…? » he asked in a barely audible voice.
Olivia nodded.
Ben gently stroked her cheek, his thumb lightly touching her skin as if he were memorizing it. Then he kissed her.
It wasn’t a theatrical kiss. It wasn’t a movie kiss meant to prove anything. It was a discreet, delicate kiss, moving in its simplicity. A kiss that felt like permission.
When they separated, Olivia’s forehead rested against his. She was breathing, her breath trembling.
Ben let out a small, incredulous laugh. « I’ve been waiting for twenty-five years, » he murmured.
Olivia’s eyes filled with tears. « You shouldn’t have waited so long. »
Ben’s thumb brushed his cheek again. « Maybe so, » he said. « Maybe I needed to become someone who could hug you without breaking. »
Olivia swallowed, her heart clenching with a sweet pain. « And I needed to break down before I could stop pretending I didn’t need anyone. »
They stayed there in the kitchen, the house silent around them, Eleanor asleep upstairs, the outside world continuing its course.
Nothing seemed rushed. Nothing resembled a fragile promise. It was like a step forward. A real step forward.
After that night, they didn’t become a couple overnight, as the village gossips might have imagined. There were no grand declarations, no immediate merging of their lives. They moved forward slowly, as if rushing things might frighten the fragile foundation of their relationship.
Ben always slept in his room in the main house. Olivia, on the other hand, always slept in the annex. But sometimes, on evenings when Eleanor was calm and after a long day, Ben would sit with Olivia in the annex, legs stretched out, reading while she corrected her work. Sometimes, as he passed by, he would brush against her hand resting on the desk, and this slight intimacy made her tremble with pleasure.
They announced it to Eleanor gently, not as a confession, but as a fact. Eleanor smiled, first confused, then delighted.
« Oh, » she said. « Good. I’ve always liked Olivia. »
Olivia laughed, a wave of relief washing over her.
At Thanksgiving, Olivia’s mother insisted they come to her house for dinner. Olivia almost refused out of habit, for fear of feeling awkward. Ben looked at her and said, « We’ll go if you want. Or not. It’s up to you. »
Olivia chose to go.
Her mother’s dining room smelled of roast turkey and cinnamon. The table was set with mismatched plates that had belonged to the family for decades. Olivia’s mother tried to remain firm, to maintain her usual calm, but her expression softened when Ben complimented the meal and cleared the tables unasked.
After dinner, Olivia found her mother in the kitchen, wiping a plate.
« You are happy, » her mother said softly.
Olivia blinked. « I don’t know if I am… »
His mother interrupted him. « You are. »
Olivia felt her tears stinging her again. « I’m trying to be. »
Her mother nodded. « Keep trying. »
When they returned to Ben’s house that evening, Olivia stood on the porch in the cold air, breathing in the scent of fallen leaves.
Ben stood behind her and wrapped a sweater around her shoulders. « You did a good job, » he murmured.
Olivia leaned against him. « Yes. »
December brought an early night, and a soft Christmas glow lit up the main street. Ben had hung a simple string of white lights along the porch, nothing fancy. Eleanor looked out the window, smiling as if the lights were magic.
Olivia found herself correcting essays about hope, winter, and small-town traditions, and for the first time, these themes didn’t seem like clichés to her. They seemed real.
One evening, Ben entered the annex with a small box.
Olivia’s heart leaped. « Well… »
He laughed, shaking his head. « It’s not what you think. »
Olivia sighed, embarrassed. « Okay. »
He opened the box and revealed a set of simple metal bookmarks, each engraved with a tiny star. « For your books, » he said, echoing Eleanor’s words.
Olivia’s throat tightened. « They’re perfect. »
Ben’s expression turned serious. « I know you’re rebuilding, » he said. « And I don’t want to be another structure you build around. I want… to be part of it. With you. »
Olivia swallowed. « I want that too. »
Ben nodded, a slight sense of relief on his face. « Good. »
On Christmas Eve, Eleanor had a restless night. Disoriented, she went downstairs calling for someone who wasn’t there. Ben brought her back to the sofa, wrapped her in a blanket, and spoke to her gently. Olivia sat with them, holding Eleanor’s hand and humming a Christmas carol she only half remembered.
Ben’s gaze met Olivia’s over her mother’s head, a mixture of gratitude and exhaustion.
At that moment, Olivia understood that love wasn’t as dramatic as she had imagined. It wasn’t a grand gesture, nor a perfect plan. It was staying up until two in the morning, holding each other’s hands in the confusion. It was choosing to be there, even when nothing was easy.
When Eleanor finally fell asleep, Ben and Olivia sat in the dimly lit living room, the Christmas tree lights twinkling softly.
Ben rested his head against the sofa. « I’m scared, » he admitted.
Olivia’s hand found hers. « What? »
« To lose her, » he said. « To wake up one day and find she doesn’t know my name anymore. »
Olivia shook his hand. « I can’t change anything, » she said softly. « But I can be there. »
Ben turned his head towards her, his eyes moist. « You already are. »
They didn’t kiss that night. It wasn’t necessary. Their closeness was enough.
After the holidays, Ben received an email that made him pale. Olivia noticed immediately.
« What is it? » she asked.
Ben swallowed. « A company in the city. They saw my proposal for an online library. They want me to interview for a position. »
Olivia felt her stomach clench, not with jealousy, but with fear. « It’s… enormous. »
Ben nodded, his expression mixed. « That’s all I thought I wanted when I was younger. »
» And now ? »
Ben looked at her, helpless. « Now I don’t know anymore. »
Olivia forced herself to breathe. This was the test. Not of love, but of whether she could contain it without trying to control it.
« Go to the interview, » she said.
Ben stared at him. “Liv…”
« Go away, » she repeated. « Otherwise, you’ll regret staying. And I won’t be the reason you hold yourself back. »
Ben’s eyes shone. « Are you alright? »
Olivia’s voice trembled, but it was sincere. « I’ll be scared. But everything will be alright. Because this isn’t the kind of love that demands trading your dreams for security. That’s not what we’re building. »
Ben exhaled slowly, as if he had been holding his breath for months. « My God, » he murmured. « You’re brave. »
Olivia laughed softly. « I’m terrified. »
« It’s the same thing, » said Ben.
Ben left for the interview in late January. Olivia stayed behind, working and looking after Eleanor with Denise, trying not to relapse into her old fears. At night, she paced the annex, resisting the urge to text him every hour.
Two days later, upon his return, Ben knocked on her door without waiting for her to answer. He entered with a smile that seemed almost foreign to his tired face.
« They proposed it, » he said.
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