For my son’s birthday, my mother-in-law handed out presents to all the children present, except for the birthday boy. She claimed she had « forgotten. » She didn’t know that I had spent the last six months meticulously documenting everything she had « forgotten, » including the $50,000 she had embezzled…

Good morning everyone. Evelyn confided in me today that she’s been having memory lapses—so much so that she’s forgotten her grandson’s birthday present—and I thought it was my duty, as her accountant, to help her remember other things she’s « forgotten. » Specifically, the $50,000 that’s currently missing from Leo’s trust account. Please find the reconciliation report attached. Good night!

I clicked Send. Then I turned off my phone and fell asleep next to my husband.

I woke up at 6 a.m. to my phone vibrating so loudly it almost fell off the nightstand. 142 unread messages. 28 missed calls. All from Evelyn.

I answered on the 29th call.

“Sarah! Listen to me!” Evelyn screamed, her voice breaking. It was as if she hadn’t slept a wink all night. Her “Grandma of the Year” mask was gone; she looked like a cornered animal. “Delete that document immediately! It’s… it’s a misunderstanding! I was making a transfer for tax reasons! You’re going to destroy the family! Everyone’s calling me! My brother’s threatening to sue! DELETE IT!”

« I can’t delete an email from thirty-two different inboxes, Evelyn, » I said, pouring myself another cup of coffee. I could hear Leo laughing in the next room, playing with his new toys. « Besides, I thought you liked sharing gifts with the whole family. Consider this one my gift to you. »

« What do you want? » she hissed. « Money? I’ll give you back the $50,000. I’ll double the amount! »

“I don’t want your money, Evelyn,” I replied. “I want you to retire from managing the estate. Immediately. And I want a notarized, written confession of this ‘negligence,’ sent to the same group chat. Otherwise, the next person I send this document to won’t be a family member. It will be the district attorney.”

A long, heavy silence settled at the other end of the line.

« I… I’m going to start the administrative procedures, » she murmured.

« Good, » I said. « And Evelyn? Next time you want to organize games at a child’s birthday party… remember who’s keeping track of the money. »

I hung up. It was a beautiful morning in Connecticut.